The First Women's Circle... and my message for you today

Tuesday evening was a milestone in my life: my first Women's Circle. I say 'my circle' because it's important for me to have a sense of ownership of the circle and of the fact that I created it.


Creating - being creative, being a creator - is something that has been in the shadows for me for a number of years. Julia Cameron talks a lot about shadow artists: blocked creatives who find themselves hanging around with a lot of artists, musicians, writers, sculptors, actors, and poets, living in quiet envy, supporting their creative spouse, friends, colleagues and children but somehow not managing to dive into their own creativity.

I have so known this space.

The act of creating something, whether that is a picture, poem or indeed a space, has felt frightening to me. What if what I create isn't understood or liked by people? What if I get rejected on some level? What if it's not noticed or recognized? What if what if what if.... This is the crazy what if train, a world in itself, a state of paralysis.

These fears - these little mind thoughts - have almost crippled me.

But they couldn't kill the desire to create. 

Yesterday's video was one tiny (bizarre!) outpouring of that. 'But the world doesn't need any more writers', my ego protests nastily. Maybe not. 'Everything that needs to be said is being said.' (Notice the horrible pooey colour that the ego writes in. Perhaps so, I respond. But I need to say these things. 


And besides... each of us is creating every single day - whether we admit it or not.


So on Tuesday, I created a sacred space, and two beautiful women came along. I read The Invitation to them, and invited them to ponder what is no longer serving them, what they want to let go of, and what they're ready to change. We shared. We gave feedback to each other. We drank herbal tea, and giggled, and wrote wish lists, and then gave each other delicious massages. I had a lovely time! And today I got the feedback that they did too.

Lovely homemade flyer

The support I have received from fellow challengers on the Screw Work Let's Play 30 day challenge has been truly incredible, and I don't know that I would have had the courage to follow this acorn of an idea through to the manifestation of an actual circle had it not been for the daily support, encouragement and spurring on I've received from the space and community involved in the challenge.

So this is my message today - support one another.
Cheer your friends on, encourage them to take the next baby step, commit to doing a tiny but focussed amount on your project every day (20 minutes of distractionless time can work miracles) and get accountability buddies - people who love you enough to challenge you when you're not stepping fully into your magnificence, to be honest with you, to gently but firmly dare you to take the next step.

Because we've only got one life. One chance to live today. The sun has gone down here in England, and Thursday 20th October 2011 will never come around again.
Heck people - this moment is all that we have! (Thanks, Oprah, for the reminder).

So if you're putting off living your life until some undefined day in the future, making excuses to yourself that sound like this: 'when I've got more money/time/freedom / when I'm not so busy at work or stressed out / when I'm in a better space and feel more loving towards myself / etc etc, then I'll follow what's in my heart'... please, STOP!

Just go, right now, and do one tiny act of magnificence for yourself. Have some freakin' fun!
Dance round your kitchen.
Do a handstand.
Draw a dog.
Call a loved one.
Just do something, anything, to shift the energy and get yourself creating again.

Because the world needs your light, just like it needed my women's circle on Tuesday. Just like it needs this blog post. And just like it needs the little dance I'm about to do right now, straight after pressing 'Publish'.

Love you... let me know how it goes.
Elloa xx

My Mission Statement

So much is happening right now that the only way I can comprehend it all is just to keep slowing down, being in the flow, bringing myself back to the moment. It's as if every day, I am being showered - actually, drenched - with positivity, support, encouragement, heart connection, and an unmistakable sense of guidance, pointing me firmly and resolutely in the direction of my dreams.

Thank you to all who have given me such wonderful feedback and input on my last post.

I wrote recently that I was in the middle of a sacred process, which on the surface appears to be centering on my career and which choice I will make next, which 'career path' I will follow. In reality, this process and this chapter in my life is about so, so much more.

It's about...

- my purpose - the deepest calling, the biggest yearnings, the secret dreams and forgotten passions
* saying YES (ever inspired by Julia and Alia) to my life, my heart, and the tiny whispers, the intuitive inklings, the seemingly insignificant nudges that are turning out to be strong roots connecting me to the earth, to being fully alive, to life!
- my spiritual practice and connection with Spirit, self and world
* the beautiful, creative little Elloa who dwells inside me
- community: this ever-expanding, inclusive, supportive community online; those I've known for years and haven't spoken to, suddenly rekindling fledgling connections; the community local to where I live; the community I'm part of in Clearmind
* play, and what that means and how that looks in my life
- all my relationships, present, past and future

My fire - my chi - is burning in my belly, blazing away the illusory ties that have bound me for so many years. I will not settle for mediocre anymore! No more excuses. More people became millionaires in the 30s' Great Depression in America than at any other time in the country's history. It's not the circumstances, but how you play within them, that makes all the difference. These new perspectives, beliefs and attitudes are taking root inside of me and I can feel my arms reaching for the sun, the stars, brushing the moon.

I am coming to this place: a place of living my life for me, knowing in every cell of my being that living in integrity is the biggest service I could offer to my dad, my mum, society, world. I am learning that it is possible for my work to be more like play, and that this in fact is a revolution that in five, ten, twenty years' time will have changed the world of work as we know it. Yes, it's risky. Yes, it's different. Yes, it's unconventional. I am thankful that it is so - I have had enough of playing it safe.

I want to shout from the rooftops, "I am free!" I need to live this journey more, so much more, infinitely more than I need another 'good' job with a steady income, security and predictability. As beautiful Brooke kept saying to me recently, the soul craves release. The release it has craved is coming in wave after wave at the moment - whilst running, whilst making love, whilst planting and weeding and pruning, whilst reading and reflecting, meditating and working out. Even while I fret and worry about money, security, how I'll pay the rent in August, my soul dances, delighted that I am here in this moment, right now.

Here, for you, for me, is my mission statement. It sums up the content of my purpose, but not the form. It reminds me every day that this one precious life is sacred, that it is here and now and that despite all the fear I might encounter within and without, that I really and truly do have a choice about how I live each day.

Love,
Elloa xx