Begin where you are, with who you are. In order to go where you want to go creatively, you have to start somewhere. And the best place to start is precisely where you are.
I have decided to do regular check ins here on 'Explorations of Elloaness' about my intentions for 2011.
If you remember, my intentions for this year are:
Self - to nurture little Ell by having one artist's date a week with her.
Family and Friends - to extend love to people by making them cards and buying them heartfelt gifts.
Spirit - to complete the lessons in ACIM and to remain committed as a student and teacher of the Course.
World - to continue to offer my blog as a soft place to land.
In naming my intentions for the year, I had some awareness of the blocks and resistance that would arise. The strongest area of resistance has been around the blog. I have felt removed from it, and somewhat disconnected from the writer inside me. I've been reading amazing posts by my companions, and a sense of quiet sadness has settled inside me; sadness that I haven't been writing, sadness that I still believe it has to look a certain way.
I feel sadness, yet it is not the truth. I recognize that tonight with relief.
When we do not act in the direction of our dreams, we are only "dreaming". Ask: Do I want to make this? If the answer is yes, then begin. Fire the arrow.
I am so grateful that every step I take towards the Creative Child inside is met by Spirit rushing in to greet me with open arms:
- Every card I have made so far, I've really enjoyed making; the process of creating has offered a window of focus for me, removing me from the senseless babbling on of my ego mind. I have experienced the power of transforming imagining into something physical and tangible. I have seen in my mind's eye and replicated that in the world. There is something quite magical about that for me, who as a child longed to make art yet simply didn't know how, didn't get messy, didn't believe it was any good anyway.
- Every artist's date has resulted in me feeling more connected, even if only momentarily. That moment becomes a sacred moment of connection with myself, and with Love. I wonder what this week's date will involve?
- I am keeping going slowly, slowly with the lessons. The struggle I've been having is not falling asleep when I meditate in the morning. One thing is for certain though - the immediate impact it has on me when I don't meditate is tangible to me and also affects those closest to me. It's been a bit of a wobbly couple of weeks, and I'm run down and exhausted all the time. Meditation is medicine, a soothing balm to my world-weary soul. I commit to sitting tomorrow morning before work (yes, before).
- Despite the resistance, I continue to check in periodically here. The point of this space is gentleness, not a word count or a weapon to beat myself over the head with.
My proudest moments related to my intentions this year so far have been making Nige a birthday card, making my sister Daisy a birthday card, and making Neala, my landlord's daughter, a good luck card for her first exam which is tomorrow.
I notice too though that lots of other creative moments are spontaneously popping up; drawing pictures with Nige in the restuarant on his birthday; giving away all the clothes I don't feel good in anymore; starting to look at Julia Cameron's "Walking in this World"; taking my first singing lesson; repairing broken jewellery; putting fairy lights back up in my bedroom; connecting with friends on the phone and in person (something I can so easily avoid); singing and dancing at a party on Saturday night; having a go at some sensory work with Nige; praying; learning the choreography for Annie... and on, and on.
May the unfolding continue... and may you delight in the creative child within you.
We take no step unpartnered. The moment we open ourselves to making art, we simultaneously open ourselves to our maker.