#Reverb10 - Wisdom

Just before the beginning of this final, closing month of 2010, I stumbled upon #Reverb10, a month long deep dive into reflecting on this year and manfiesting what's next.


Reverb10 sends out a 'prompt' each day, written by a different author/creative type. So far, I've read but haven't written about any of these, and I already regret that, so I'm choosing differently this evening.

December 10 Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

Surprisingly, what comes to mind is a decision that I made very early on in the year (I am already loving this project because it's given me an opportunity to zoom out of my life and look at just what an incredible year it's been). 


The wisest decision that comes to mind was the one I made to leave my job as a Support Worker for adults with Aspergers Syndrome. From that decision came so many incredible things:


* I chose to work a night shift because I knew I was leaving soon, and stumbled upon a beautiful blog called Love Imagine Create. I began to blog again, and encouraged Nige to do the same. Through blogging, we met Brooke and Julia, whose presences have utterly enhanced my life (and Nige's too, of that I'm sure!), bringing so much beauty and connection. What gifts these women are.


* I got to spend a few months working on a great project which was supposed to get thousands upon thousands of young people volunteering. It was scary, creative, challenging, and I met some awesome people and drove a lot all over East Sussex. I also got lots of chances to practice remembering that I am enough. Some were more successful than others.


* I got made redundant, which was a brilliant lesson in trust, and it gave me three months work-free in which I still got paid. I spent that time studying, resting, and entered into Life Coaching with the exquisite Anne-Marie. I also found out about the redundancy on holiday, which provided an extra sense of terror/liberation as Nige and I cycled through Cheddar Gorge.






* Through the new job this year that I then got made redundant from, I met Anna, who, in a flash of synchronicity, suggested I go for a cup of tea with Graham Allcott because I was beginning to study coaching. Today, I work for him! 

Graham is a productivity ninja and all-round top bloke. He gets things done very productively which gives me a perfect opportunity to face my belief that I must be perfect and a performing monkey in order to be accepted. My new job title is very grown up sounding and completely opposite to the dancing lunatic that I was last year. Today, people, I am Think Productive's Public Workshops, Finance and Back Office Manager. (Is it just me or does the 'Back Office' bit make you want to giggle like a naughty schoolchild?)


Following that gut feeling to leave that job has opened so, so many doors for me. I don't mean outward doors, although some of them were...
* Meeting Julia and Brooke, for example, has provided me with heart connection but has challenged my thinking and my beliefs too, particularly around what it means for a man I love to be close to another woman;
* Losing my job brought up lots of old beliefs that I am somehow a failure because I never stick at anything, even though everything in my life says that I am lovely and innocent, just the way I am.


Perhaps the lesson, and the point, is that there are no small decisions. Every decision I make does affect the rest of my life. Ultimately, the most important decision I will ever make is to remember the Truth, to change my mind, to return to Love (I know I say it a lot, but as my character in Annie says, "It's true"!). When I make that decision internally, how I live my life will automatically arise out of it.


And today, I am bloody bowled over with gratitude for my life. 


Thank you for being a part of it.


xoxoxoxoxox