Screw Work, Let's Play

October is a big month for me. I am doing the Screw Work Let's Play 30 day challenge (hopefully continuing to forgive along the way!).

I will be uploading my progress from the challenge to this space, because I love this space, and because I know that my commitment is really going to be elsewhere.

All I can say, one day in, is that this challenge is frikkin' powerful. Deeply, deeply powerful.

May the miracles unfold...

My project is:

Starting a fortnightly women's circle in Steyning, West Sussex. The circle will be a place for women to come and share stories, express themselves in a brilliant variety of ways, sing, drum, play, dance, laugh, cry, weave dreams, and step into their magnificence.

On the 30 October at 5pm I will be sharing the following with the community as the output of my project:

I will have run my first women's circle (on October 18th - the room is booked!) and will be preparing for the second circle on November 1st. I'll write about the evening, including photos where appropriate, and will publish this on my blog and on this site. If the circle has covered my costs and generated my first playcheque, I will joyfully photograph it for you!

What excites me the most about this project is...

Stepping into my magnificence as I create a space for women to step into theirs. When women gather together, miracles happen. That I could be the conduit of that process is so, so exciting for me.

I am also excited at the picture I have in my mind of the kind of space the circle will be and of the atmosphere I envision for it. I intend to hold an amazing space for these everyday Goddesses.

What scares me the most about this project is...

Stepping into my magnificence. Excitement and fear are so closely intertwined for me. Specifically, inviting people to come along to the circle (inviting, not selling!) and the projected image in my mind of whether I'll be 'up to the job' of holding the space on the night and whether I'll 'perform' and 'be good enough' (thank you, Top Dog. Now get lost!)

I hereby commit to the 30 Day Challenge pledge because... 

I am ready to answer the call in my heart to step into leadership and take the action necessary to bring my dreams to life. It is time to shine!

Love,

Elloa xx

Messy Creative desk

Me, very excited, with almost finished flyers

Homemade flyers

When I take a risk

When I take a risk...
Amazing things seem to happen:
Doing one thing every day that scares me
Is yielding incredible results.
I am braver; I made it down the hill.
And
I asked if anyone wants to be my first
coaching client and
immediately, someone wonderful said yes!
I knew it was time to shine
again
and I got a teaching job
just like that
 - no long application needed, no interview.
Just, welcome,
and,
Teach.

What else?

I've opened myself to him,
and every cell in my body
seems to pop, crackle and fizz.
Also, it is time to open my arms
to the flow of abundance
that is just waiting to rush through my life
welcoming the river,
allowing it to flow.
And the most wonderful people
keep coming my way,
like they can't help themselves
but want to hang out in my orbit.

I am so grateful.

The risks are scary
but!
taking them -
just
day by day -
is totally transforming my
precious,
tender,
once-in-a-lifetime
life.

My Mission Statement

So much is happening right now that the only way I can comprehend it all is just to keep slowing down, being in the flow, bringing myself back to the moment. It's as if every day, I am being showered - actually, drenched - with positivity, support, encouragement, heart connection, and an unmistakable sense of guidance, pointing me firmly and resolutely in the direction of my dreams.

Thank you to all who have given me such wonderful feedback and input on my last post.

I wrote recently that I was in the middle of a sacred process, which on the surface appears to be centering on my career and which choice I will make next, which 'career path' I will follow. In reality, this process and this chapter in my life is about so, so much more.

It's about...

- my purpose - the deepest calling, the biggest yearnings, the secret dreams and forgotten passions
* saying YES (ever inspired by Julia and Alia) to my life, my heart, and the tiny whispers, the intuitive inklings, the seemingly insignificant nudges that are turning out to be strong roots connecting me to the earth, to being fully alive, to life!
- my spiritual practice and connection with Spirit, self and world
* the beautiful, creative little Elloa who dwells inside me
- community: this ever-expanding, inclusive, supportive community online; those I've known for years and haven't spoken to, suddenly rekindling fledgling connections; the community local to where I live; the community I'm part of in Clearmind
* play, and what that means and how that looks in my life
- all my relationships, present, past and future

My fire - my chi - is burning in my belly, blazing away the illusory ties that have bound me for so many years. I will not settle for mediocre anymore! No more excuses. More people became millionaires in the 30s' Great Depression in America than at any other time in the country's history. It's not the circumstances, but how you play within them, that makes all the difference. These new perspectives, beliefs and attitudes are taking root inside of me and I can feel my arms reaching for the sun, the stars, brushing the moon.

I am coming to this place: a place of living my life for me, knowing in every cell of my being that living in integrity is the biggest service I could offer to my dad, my mum, society, world. I am learning that it is possible for my work to be more like play, and that this in fact is a revolution that in five, ten, twenty years' time will have changed the world of work as we know it. Yes, it's risky. Yes, it's different. Yes, it's unconventional. I am thankful that it is so - I have had enough of playing it safe.

I want to shout from the rooftops, "I am free!" I need to live this journey more, so much more, infinitely more than I need another 'good' job with a steady income, security and predictability. As beautiful Brooke kept saying to me recently, the soul craves release. The release it has craved is coming in wave after wave at the moment - whilst running, whilst making love, whilst planting and weeding and pruning, whilst reading and reflecting, meditating and working out. Even while I fret and worry about money, security, how I'll pay the rent in August, my soul dances, delighted that I am here in this moment, right now.

Here, for you, for me, is my mission statement. It sums up the content of my purpose, but not the form. It reminds me every day that this one precious life is sacred, that it is here and now and that despite all the fear I might encounter within and without, that I really and truly do have a choice about how I live each day.

Love,
Elloa xx

Bikeday

Oh, what an adventure today has been!

Nige and I have driven over 400 miles, passing rapeseed fields that filled the car with the sweet, heady scent of spring, stopping at service stations to eat sandwiches, crisps and ice cream (I'm such a bad influence on him!), listening to great music (this ain't no party, this ain't no disco) and visiting his best friend and her three incredible daughters on the way home.

The purpose of this last-minute road trip? Collecting my new touring bike, which we won on eBay last night, (although for five solemn minutes we thought someone else had one it and were both cursing guttedly, before realising that the winner, 'r***p', was Nige himself! Oh, how we whooped and giggled, giddy with excitement!)

And let me tell you - the bike is a beauty. (Photos to come!)

Nige said it really well this afternoon; it is really important in this lifetime not to settle for second best. Settling means accepting less than your heart desires, which in terms of furniture, or clothes, or in this case, a bike, means that you just won't like the thing you've chosen, and that energy will be associated with whatever the thing is for as long as you own it.


When it came to finding a road bike for me, Nige and I refused to settle. We had looked at a lot of different bikes, and none of them had felt right (a bit like Goldilocks when she came across the first of the two bowls of porridge in the Three Bears' cottage).

Until last week, all the bikes we'd looked at were somehow not quite right. Either aesthetically, I'd just not enjoyed looking at them, or they had crappy componentry like wilting rear geraniums (now I really sound like I know what I'm talking about), or they've been way too expensive, or something just hasn't felt right. I'm a huge believer in trusting your gut feeling on things, and the more I turn to it and trust it and listen and just go with what it's telling me (it's always clear as a bell if I choose to pay attention), the better the guidance I receive.

And then this turned up, this beauty of a vintagey sort of bike: 10 years old, made in England, with a cherry red Brooks leather saddle, and leather bar tape (which Nige is jealous of and just offered to swap his black bar tape for - no thanks!), and for anyone who knows anything about bikes, a bit of Campagnolo, too.

Inspired by Julia and Alia, I attempted today to embrace the spirit of yes in my life, and have had a wonderful day. It's genuinely felt like the beginning of a new chapter, a key milestone on the journey I'm on, which is slowly, steadily heading towards the dream of touring. It is no understatement to say that today's events will result in my life changing.

Quite apart from actually acquiring the bike, I have had some wonderful interactions with people today - the guy who we bought the bike from and his wife, and her sister; Kate and her kids, who are so alive and creative and inspirational and worthy of a post all of their own; and some honest, and also quiet, moments with Nige (it's been a bit tough recently).

Saying 'yes' has been really helpful, positive and enriching, and best of all, I get another chance tomorrow to say it all over again!

Yes!