Networking

A few weeks ago, I was blessed with the opportunity to go to a networking event in London as part of my job. (The reason I say I was blessed is because I got to listen to a man called Dr. Robert Holden, a student of A Course in Miracles, but also a psychologist renowned for his work on happiness and success intelligence, give a talk. For an hour, my personal and professional selves were united in a harmonious, exciting way. I was going to write about this tonight, but the next few paragraphs are what came out first, so I will honour that journey instead.)

I find networking events quite uncomfortable, as a rule - especially in the capital, where the unspoken dialogue between people goes something like this:

A. "I'm a very busy person. I work and live in London, have places to get to later today, meetings to attend, and targets to reach. In short, what can you give me? I'm a very important person, you know."
B. "I too am a very busy person. I don't think you quite realize this, but I've had wall to wall meetings today, and have only just managed to squeeze this event into my diary. It's a miracle I'm here, given how busy I am. I must dash in a minute. But before I do, let me ask you this:  what can you give me?"

Now, this is very illuminating for me to have articulated. Am I cynical, or perceptive? Does this say anything remotely accurate about life in London, about what it means to be a professional, working person nowadays, or does it merely reflect on my own hectic, poverty stricken attitude towards time? Am I just making it all up, or is some of it based on what's really happening for people at these events? At the moment, I have no idea! All I have to go on is my gut feeling, my experience, and what I perceive.

The 'what I don't want you to know' part of this is that I do it too! I scan attendee lists, looking for important and powerful people to attempt to find and have a conversation with (it's quite difficult to do this when you're at the event because these people are usually already having a conversation and it seems to be beyond my control which people I end up speaking to. And besides, I don't want to walk around inspecting people's name badges until I find the person I'm looking for.)

I often go into self-critical mode when I find that I've ended up speaking to a freelancer (i.e. not a potential client), or someone very nice but not in a position of power to do any business with me; I wonder if on a deeper level, I'm thinking the 'wrong' thoughts, thoughts which are lack and fear-based, which prevent me from succeeding in getting more business for the business, thoughts resigned to the inevitability that I won't meet anyone 'worthwhile' - in terms of progressing the business.

It saddens me that in the middle of these kinds of thoughts, I sacrifice the opportunity to have a miraculous encounter with a miraculous human being. In choosing to only focus on what I can get, looking purely at a person's job title and/or organisation, I completely miss them. And people is what I'm all about! I love meeting new people. I love their stories, love learning about how differently people approach situations and circumstances; I find people and their lives fascinating.

Except for when I'm at a networking event.

For whatever reason, it's Saturday night and tonight my consciousness has decided to wake me up to this uncomfortable realization. It's a lesson I keep learning, taking many different forms:

The only thing missing in any situation is what I'm not giving it.

Perhaps that next person I meet won't attend one of our workshops, or want to know more about what they do. Perhaps they'll only be interested in trying to get more business for themselves. Or perhaps my next encounter will surprise me in fantastic and unforseeable ways. My commitment, as part of my journey into leadership, is that I will treat each human being I meet at a networking event with respect, curiosity and gratitude.

Then I'm sure that I will see countless miracles open up before me. And surely the business can then truly benefit - from me being the best version of myself that I can be.


Does any of this resonate with you? What is your experience of these kind of events, and what is your intention for them from now on? I would love to receive your input to help me cement my intention.

Love,
Elloa